Hot suicide tip

Very-bad-taste public service note: If you’re planning to kill yourself by getting hit by a train, don’t try to do it from within your huge durable American 4×4. A little 1984 Fiero or Daewoo would be a better idea (at least he didn’t use a Volvo). Also, for the suicide to be really effective, it’s important to stay inside the vehicle.

If you don’t follow these two simple suggestions, your failed suicide attempt will probably result in a massive train wreck and lots of dead people who aren’t you. The news story above says he’s facing 10 counts of homicide. What are they going to do, kill him?