Catholics elect a breakfast dish to church leader

Showing a sense of humour for the first time since Jesus wowed crowds with his long-running and critically acclaimed “standup comedy from the mount” series, the Catholic church elected [Eggs Benedict XVI](http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/pope/index.html)  as their new leader.

“With the failing health of John-Paul, it became obvious that the Pope is merely a figurehead, so we felt it appropriate to acknowledge the fact,” a red-faced Cardinal told jurgen dot ca in an exclusive interview.

The new leader, after being cooked and cooled, will be vacuum-sealed in plastic, and put on display at the Vatican Canteen. Replica leaders will be sold for €5.50 as part of the breakfast menu, 5am until noon, Monday-Saturday. Rumours that “John-Paul vegetables” would be offered as a side dish were flatly denied.