Beer makes you smart, cars in New Zealand

In case you haven’t already figured this out, gentle reader, I’m a great fan of the writing of the reporters at *The Register*  . They’ve outdone themselves this time with an article about [some Kiwis that have discovered that alcohol makes you smart](http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/03/kiwi_boffins_prove_booze_makes_you_clever/)  . Here’s a sample paragraph:

It seems the rats were separated into three groups. One was put on a fairly hefty booze intake equivalent to five or six beers a day; another lot got a ration “equivalent to a level of consumption that does not exceed [the] legal driving limit” – though disappointingly they still were not allowed to drive cars. The third, luckless group of rodents were put on a temperance regime.

I love the bit about rats driving cars.

Now, speaking of cars and New Zealand, when we were over there a few months ago, we discovered something amusing about the Kiwi automobile industry: they don’t have one. At all. Some years ago, it was decided that pursuing that line of business was not sustainable, so they lowered the import duty on used cars.

Coincidentally, Japan’s tax laws are structured in such a way that it becomes very disadvantageous to own a car that’s more than about 3 years old – to stimulate their own automobile industry. So some very clever alcohol-drinking rats decided to load huge freighter boats up with three-year-old Japanese cars and float it over to New Zealand. As a happy result, one can buy relatively new cars in New Zealand for very very very low prices. A friend of ours has a three year old Subaru, for which she paid only NZ$3000. Cheap cheap!

The Japanese win because they have a place to sell their old cars. The Kiwis win, because they can buy very cheap newish cars. The only losers (aside from that pesky environment – but better three year old cars than 30 year old ones) are the cars themselves. Poor things – they had a relatively relaxed life tootling around Japanese cities. Suddenly, they’re thrown on a boat and taken to New Zealand – quite a rural place, with lots of hills and a good amount of snow in the south. At one point, we were driving up a dirt road in the snow, chains on the tyres, engine freaking out, heater on full blast, with five people inside. Poor little car. In the stress of the whole situation, it detached its rear-view mirror, like a lizard with its tail. I hope it’s okay – at least it won’t be driven by a rat. Which I think is my point here.