Colony of dreadlocked running-men in the Dandenongs

Both men suffer from schizophrenia, are suspicious of other individuals and are living rough in the same bush area.> > > > > “I mean, he’s almost identical to Jimmy D’Zilva, but it’s not him,” Superintendent Forti told> The Age > yesterday.> > > > > “We caught him last night and we thought ‘Beauty, we’ve caught Jimmy D’Zilva’.> > > > > “This bloke, I’ve seen a photo of him, he’s got the dreadlocked hair, he’s dirty, the same height, build, everything.> > > > > “The only thing that made him different when we got him was he was wearing hiking boots. Now, we’ve never seen Jimmy wearing hiking boots so one thing led to another, we did some inquiries and we discovered it wasn’t him.”

via theage.com.au

I’ve been following the story of James D’Zilva for a while, with a mixture of pity and underdogedness. While he allegedly stabbed a policeman (bad!) he’s been eluding law enforcement ever since, and it’s quite entertaining. On Monday, the police arrested a man matching D’Zilva’s d’scription, but it turned out not to be him. The above paragraphs are from an article in The Age about a more recent arrest - quite a fair way away from the Dandenongs - of another similar man.

I put it to you: there’s a secret colony of tall, dreadlocked alien “men” in the Dandenongs. They survive on junk food and can run extremely quickly. They’re slowly adding psychoactive drugs to the Cardinia reservoir to influence the behaviour of the city that they watch over. They’re also controlling the broadcast towers on Mount Dandenong, so careful what you listen to.